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Personalized

Safety Plan

Family Violence is never the survivor’s fault. Safety can

be a concern for survivors of family violence, and the following questions and prompts offer you strategies to increase your safety in different situations.

Consider keeping a copy of this document to help you remember safety steps you have outlined, but take

care to keep it in a safe place where your partner is not likely to find it. If your partner becomes aware of this information, create a new safety plan.

Safety During a Violent Incident

Choosing the actions now that you would take if something happens may help you make quicker decisions in the moment. Remember: You know your partner best and can judge the situation. If it is very serious, trust your instincts on how to calm the situation down. Question

If you think there is going to be an argument

or a violent incident, where can you move

that is safer (a room with a door or window

to the outside)?

Answer

Question

Think about how to get out of each room

in advance. What is the safest way to leave

(which specific door, window, stairwell, etc.)?

Answer

Question

If you need to leave, where would you go?

Answer

Question

If you can’t go there, where else might

you go?

Answer

Question

Where can you keep your keys and wallet

so that you will be able to find them?

Answer

Question

What might you tell your children

about what they should do?

Answer

Question

Is there a neighbor or trusted person who

you could talk to about calling the police?

How would you alert them (call, text, if they

hear suspicious noises)?

Answer

Question

Is there a code word you can use with

children, family, or friends so they know

to call for help?

Answer

Safety When Preparing to Leave

If you decide to leave your partner, plans and preparation can be critical. Abusive partners too often escalate their violent behavior if they believe their partner is leaving the relationship. Review and rehearse your safety plan often, and, as appropriate, practice it with your children. If it is safe, keep a journal/log of all violent incidents, noting dates, events, and threats made—including those made online or through text messages and phone calls. Take screenshots or forward any threatening social media posts or messages, emails, voicemails, etc., to a safe account or to someone you trust. Items to think about taking or keeping with a trusted person:

• Cell phone/tablets

• ID card

• Birth certificates for you

and your children

• Social Security cards

• School records

• Medical records

• Car title/registration

• Credit/debit cards

• Lease/rental agreement or

deeds

• Work permits

• Passport

• Insurance papers

• Jewelry

• Medications

• Financial documents

• Sentimental items

•

•

•

Question

Do you have someone or somewhere,

besides your house, you can leave some

money, an extra set of keys, extra clothes,

and copies of important documents?

Answer

Question

Can you open a separate bank account

to increase your independence?

Answer

Question

Can you get an alternative/prepaid cell

phone to make phone calls without your

partner knowing?

Answer

Question

Who can you talk to about staying with

them when you leave?

Answer

Question

What are some other steps you can

take when preparing to leave?

Answer

Staying Safe After Leaving

If you live away from your abusive partner, there are steps you can take to increase your safety. Some of them might work well for you and others may not. Think about other factors specific to your location and situation that will help you stay safe. Consider the following ways to increase your safety:

• Change locks

• Change passwords on all

accounts and social media

• Turn off GPS on all devices

• Make sure all windows are

secure

• Have an outside lighting

system with motion

sensors

• Install a security system

• If available, give your

workplace security a photo

of your abuser

• Change store locations or

public places (coffee shops,

restaurants, etc.) that you

frequently visit

• Talk to an advocate about

how to keep your address

confidential, including

enrolling in the Address

Confidentiality Program,

if necessary

Protecting Your Children’s Safety

Sometimes it is important to restrict who has permission to pick up your children, including your partner. This can require a court order in some instances. If applicable, you can inform the following about pick-up permission:

• School and/or

teacher

• Day Care staff

and/or babysitter

• Place of worship • Other:

Other things to consider about safety and your children:

• As appropriate, teach your children when and

how to call 911.

• You can plan with your children when and

how to leave if violence escalates, or that they

might go to a specific place at home if they feel

afraid.

• If you are worried about your partner finding

your current location, talk to an advocate

about how to protect your children’s school

or place of activity from publishing personal

information and from posting pictures of your

children.

Question

What are some other steps you can take to

stay safe after leaving?

Answer

Question

Where can you meet for visitation or

exchanges that feels safe?

Answer

Question

Sometimes abusers use family phone plans

or gifts to children as a way to track your

whereabouts. How can you screen gifts or

talk to your children about this?

Answer

Staying Safe with a Protective Order

Abusers may obey Protective Orders, but one can never be sure which partner will obey and which will not. The following are some steps that you can take to help the enforcement of the Protective Order. Make sure that your Protective Order is filed

with either the District or County Clerk and you

know the process of how to get a certified copy

if needed. If you move to a different county in

Texas, you can register your Protective Order with the county and local law enforcement. If you are

worried about filing your Protective Order with

your address information, talk to the Court Clerk

or an advocate about how to avoid that.

If law enforcement does not help, you can contact

your advocate or attorney to file a complaint.

You can give your Protective Order to local law

enforcement in the city or county where you work,

live, and places where you often go.

The local family violence program can help if

issues come up with your Protective Order.

You can inform your employer, close friends,

children’s schools, and others that you have a

Protective Order in effect and can give them

copies if needed.

If your partner violates the Protective Order, call the police to report the violation, contact your attorney and advocate, and document all violations. District or County Clerk

My Advocate

My Attorney

Local Law Enforcement

Local Family Violence Program

Employer

Close friends

Children’s schools

Other

Question

Keep a copy of your Protective Order with

you at all times. Where are some other

places that you can keep copies?

Answer

Protecting Your Emotional Safety

The experience of being abused physically and/or verbally is exhausting, scary, and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for yourself takes much energy and incredible courage. Write down some options to help you during this difficult time. Question

When you have to communicate with your

partner in person or over the phone, what

positive things can you do before and/or

after to feel better?

Answer

Question

What can you do if you feel upset?

Answer

Question

What is one phrase that you can use to

remind yourself of all your strengths?

Answer

Question

How can you create a peaceful space

for yourself?

Answer

Question

What is one thing you can tell yourself when

you feel like others are trying to control or

abuse you?

Answer

Question

What are some other things that make

you feel stronger?

Answer

Understanding Your Technology Safety

Some things to consider about cell phones:

• Do you know how to turn off the GPS

on your phone?

• Do you have a shared family plan where

your partner could track you or monitor

who you call?

• Is it safer for you to have a separate alternative or prepaid phone?

• Do you know how to check your list of apps to

make sure something was not downloaded on

your phone?

Some things to consider about online safety:

• Can you create a private email account?

• Is it safe for you to change account passwords

that your abuser knows?

• Is there a public computer or a computer of

a trusted friend you can use if you’re worried

about your online activities being monitored?

• Do you know how to delete history on your

computer and how that can be unsafe in

certain situations?

• If you are trying to keep your location

confidential from your partner, try Googling

your name to see if your location is easily

found. Keep in mind to not Google your

name often.

Additional technology safety planning is available at the National Network to End Domestice Violence. Question

What are some other ways to increase

safety with your cell phone?

Answer

Question

What are some other ways to increase safety

with your computer and/or online accounts?

Answer

Other Strategies to Feel Safer

Telephone Numbers to Remember

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Counselor / Advocate

Victim Services

Attorney

Doctor / Health Care Provider

Friend

Family Member

Other

Family Violence Program

Local Police Department

Your Workplace

School / Daycare

Local Hospital

Friend

Family Member

Other

TEXAS COUNCIL ON FAMILY VIOLENCE PO BOX 163865 AUSTIN, TX 78716 800-***-**** WWW.TCFV.ORG

(800) 799-SAFE (7233)

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