School Executive

Hell & Purgatory Tourist Board

About Our Rul uhm President

Famous Members

Favorite Links

A Map of Hell

Satan's Resume

Satan Vs Santa

Selling One's Soul

Satan's Resume

Lucifer Abaddon Morning Star

666 Raven Road

Hell, Michigan 48169

(666) 555 - 6969

abqpx5@r.postjobfree.com

Objective:

To fill my company with as many souls...er people who feel they need and can promote change in their lives.

Education: Beginning of Time - 7,000 BCE, Right Hand of God,Heaven Ph.D.

of Divine Communication

1926 - 30, Harvard Business School, Boston, Ma.

MBA

1843 - 1849, Yale Law School, New Haven, Ct.

J.D., LL.M., & J.S.D.

Enough time to write check, Damnation University, Hell, Michigan.

BCI, MCI, PhD of Culunary

Ignorance.

Employment History:1985 - Present: Microsoft Corp., Silicon Valley,Ca.

Title: Designing Specialist Responsibilites: To ensure that our product

provides the greatest amount of flash, least amount of work, and most openings for crashes, viruses, and hackers a system

can allow. also DOS 640K Memory Limit and Y2K crash scam.

1960 - Present: Hollywood, Ca. & New York, NY

Title: Producer, Script Writter Responsibilities:

Helping to create some of the worst items on television including: The Brady Bunch, Saturday Night Live (1985 - Present),

3-D Movies, Real T.V. Shows like "Survivor", Anna Nicole Smith Show, and "Gigli".

7,000 BCE - Present: Earth, Milky Way

Title:Independent Contractor Responsibilities: Creation and navigation

of natural and man made disasters including: Burining of Sodom and Gomorrah, Fall of Atlantis, Fall of Rome,

Engulfing of the Cities of Herculanium & Pompeii, Sinking of Titanic, San Andreas Fault, and others.

2,5000 BCE - Present: Earth, Milk Way

Title:Promotion Executive Responsibilities: Assisting in the promotion

and travel arrangement for various heads of state, entertainers, or micro organisms bent on conquering, destroying, or

irritating the world, including: AIDS, Barney, The Black Plague, John Calvin, Chairman Mao, Demonic Possession, Herpes,

Adolph Hitler, Saddam Hussein, The Inquisition, Ghangis Khan, Osama bin Laden, Jennifer Lopez, Joseph McCarthy, Reverend Moon,

Nepoleon, Kid Rock, Pauly Shore, Slave Traders, Joseph Stalin, Teletubbies, and Yellow Jack

80,000 BC - 7,000 BC: Heaven, Heaven

Title: Angel Responsibilities:

Sweeping up heaven, washing

linen, tuning harps, various other menial chores.

Salary: All the manna I

wanted.

Reason for Leaving: Creative differences.

Honors:

Voted Most Likely to Go to Hell

Member, Sigma Sigma Sigma Fraternity

Ralph P. Eubanks Negative Action

Scholarship

Publications:

The Seven Deadly Sins

The Old Testament (only the Book of Leviticus)

The Book of Mormon

(that was a lot of fun)

Dianetics (as by L. Ron Hubbard)

Community Organizations:

Klu Klux Klan

References:

Anton LeVey, Reverend Moon, and Saddam Hussain

Current Projects:

Rap Music, Anything produced on the WB & PAX t.v., Owen Wilson

& Chris Tucker's careers, The revival of Pop Country, George W. Bush's political career.

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