Gordon G. Alanson sends out resumes to people who are hiring. Is he qualified? No. Sober? No. Lucid? No. Does he have a criminal history? Mayhaps. But he's got a killer resume.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Resume and Cover Letter: Mortgages!

It has been a couple of weeks since I've written a new resume. I've been busy studying for my Canadian Language Proficiency Exam. I decided to write a resume for Gordon to go off and find a job doing mortgages. The mortgage business--it's an industry we love to hate. I'm not saying they're all evil; I'm just saying that a lot of them are assholes who took/take/will take advantage of a lot of people. So go ahead and check it out.

The Cover

I saw your ad on Craigslist looking for a loan officer. I wanted to contact you immediately to let you know that your search is over. If you don’t believe me (and I’m betting you don’t), read the rest of my cover letter. If you do, you’re already on the phone with me. Do I sound too cocky? Too self confident? Shouldn’t you be worried about hiring somebody who isn’t? And I expect you’re looking for somebody with energy. I once worked for an entire week going on nothing but Red Bull and Dramamine. For awhile in 2006, I worked full-time at three different mortgage companies (though two were “under the table”).

I have a great amount of experience with mortgages. Just look at my resume and that’s a summarized version. I can show you commission slips, previous paychecks, and even my tax returns and you’ll see that I can actually live up to the claims. I love what I do, and I do mortgages.

Though my current position at Organ Trans-America does not directly involve home loans, I have continued working with customers and keeping my leads warm. In fact, my current job is very similar to what I used to do. Rather than finding the best home loan for a customer’s situation, right now I work with people to negotiate live organ or tissue donation. Though this is technically illegal in the United States, we work with donors and customers to set up organ transplants in other countries without live-organ donation laws or extradition treaties. The skill-set is the same: developing and nurturing leads, staying in contact with customers, negotiating terms, and working on a 100% commission structure.

I have a strong desire to get back into the mortgage business. I moved away from mortgages to try my hand at another product, but believe in the solidity of the mortgage industry. People will always buy houses, and I know that now is the time that the housing industry is turning around and I’m ready to throw myself into the ring. Interest rates will do nothing but drop lower, and I know how to help customers identify the best mortgage to maximize commission.

I will speak with you soon, if you would like to go through the formality of an interview. Please call any time of the day or night. I am anxious to get started. You may reach me at abpooc@r.postjobfree.com or 213

Sincerely,

Gordon Alanson

The Resume

Gordon Alanson

abpooc@r.postjobfree.com

213

Objective

To originate solid mortgages while growing an already considerable customer base.

Education

BBA, Operations Management

September 1999 to May 2005

Minor in Sculpting

University of New Mexico, 3.98 GPA

Las Cruces, NM

Experience

Organ Trans-America, Los Angeles, CA

June 2008 to present

Organ Gift Representative

Provide people the option to sell their organs for research, medical testing, or transplant.Top grossing representative for the last 9 months straightOrganize with donors to cross international borders for live organ donationNegotiate sales of live organs with customers, including trade groups, medical research centers, individuals, or investors

Pacific Atlantic Mortgage Solutions, Blythe, CA

May 2007 to June 2008

Loan Advising Agent

Worked in origination and processing at one of the High Desert’s busier mortgage brokerages.Developed $25 million per month in loans on averageTop loan advisor in revenue creation in 7 of last 12 monthsGenerated highest back-end among all agents to benefit brokerage’s bottom lineWrote and sang jingle for advertising campaign played on local radio

Stanley Cup Homerun Mortgage, Phoenix, AZ

June 2006 to May 2007

Loan OriginatorDeveloped leads among local home buildersOriginated between 40 and 50 home loans per monthProvided professional mortgage commentary on local weekend cable television show, Wake-Up Phoenix

A-Plus Quality Times Mortgages, Roswell, NM

May 2005 to June 2006

Mortgage Maker and Lead GenerationWorked with customers to finance homesOriginated at least 30 home loans per monthRanked as highest revenue-generating employee in every month of employment

Gordon Alanson

at

11:13 PM

BlogThis!

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2 comments:

AnonymousSeptember 24, 2010 2:17 AM

Mr.Alanson, You're hired. Wait... I just look over your resume, and you have Pacific Atlantic Mortgage Solutions twice. Sorry... You are fired!

September 24, 2010 6:39 PM

That's weird. I meant to only have it listed once. In the resume I actually sent out, it only had it once. Will you reconsider me for the position?

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