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George W's "resume" :)
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Topic: George W's "resume" :) (Read 273 times)
kristay
George W's "resume" :)
« on: November 13, 2004, 01:01:10 PM »
in one of the many forwards that fills me e-mail inbox...happy reading!
george bush's resume
George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
LEGAL EXPERIENCE:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY SERVICE:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
* I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
* I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
* I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
* With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
* I changed Texas pollution laws to favor electricity and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
* During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
* I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
* I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.
* With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
* I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
* I spent a large budget surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
* I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
* I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
* I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
* I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.
* After taking-off the entire month of August 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
* I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
* In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq then blamed the lies on the British.
* I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. president.
* In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any president in U.S. history.
* I set the record for the fewest number of presidential press conferences since the advent of television.
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Cletus
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2004, 01:15:35 PM »
I'd hire him to clean my toilets and walk behind my dog to pick up his (the dog's that is).
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Posts: 610
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2004, 03:53:06 PM »
Seems biased.
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Mr. Verbosity!
Posts: 6
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2004, 04:02:10 PM »
I guess this is the new blueprint for The Presidency. Time to get my crime and swindle on.
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Gummo
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2004, 04:08:35 PM »
Quote from: Verbosity on November 13, 2004, 03:53:06 PMSeems biased.
Haha, not at all.
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kristay
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2004, 04:39:31 PM »
Quote from: Verbosity on November 13, 2004, 03:53:06 PMSeems biased.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious I still found it amusing.
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Posts: 387who the hell is this? ... seriously!
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2004, 02:56:28 AM »
so did Karl Rove write this?
after reading it i wish i had voted for W. because at least we know where he stands.
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wow, this is kind of interesting i always wondered how you guys got things to show up on all your posts.
Posts: 35795% there
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2004, 02:34:19 PM »
Quote from: DanielN on November 14, 2004, 02:56:28 AMso did Karl Rove write this?
after reading it i wish i had voted for W. because at least we know where he stands.
Flip flopper.
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Posts: 387who the hell is this? ... seriously!
Re: George W's "resume" :)
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2004, 03:34:05 PM »
hey ill vote for jonathan swift if he is outright in what he wants to do!
...
wait that a horrible way to make decisions
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wow, this is kind of interesting i always wondered how you guys got things to show up on all your posts.
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George W's "resume" :)
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